still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
