i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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