Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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