And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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