I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
