She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
