once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
