I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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