Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
