are you still at the devil's house?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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