U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
