this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
