I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
