Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
