just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
