you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
