covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
