i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
