so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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