I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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