Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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