Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
