Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
