South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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