So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize
