you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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