I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
