are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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