I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
