i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
