she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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