Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I love you.
Bad choice
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
