It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
