I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
