I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
