i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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