feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
