Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
