Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
