Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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