one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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