you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
