yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize