you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
