I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
