Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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