I'm really into asian looking animals
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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