drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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