I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I look excited, but its just a facade.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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