Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
