Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize