I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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