I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
