We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
