Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize