I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
