I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
