K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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