He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
