You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
