Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
